Milk

So after you have a baby, your milk comes in.

You feed your child and you feel so much gratitude to your body for making this amazing substance. 

I sit here now and feed Lucy's new brother.

It brought me back to right after my sweet girl died, sitting there in the car by her graveside, pumping. Just pumping. What else could I do? My breast were full and about to burst. I had to pump to relieve them. Bottles full. Breasts empty. No sweet baby to give my precious milk. No cooler on hand so store it... So I said to my sweet 5 year old boy. "I guess I should just dump it out" and he said "No" and grabbed it from me... He ran to Lucy's grave and poured it out and said "Now Lucy can drink it" 

My eyes cry, my heart aches, my body longs for her to drink it too my sweet boy. 

My little girl

As my sweet Lucy's third birthday approaches all I can think about is her.. How would she be now.. Luke says she'd have hair like mine, black and curly, he drew a picture of her a few days ago, he says to me "she looks like a mini you" and then he giggled... I picture a sweet little girl with bouncy curls who loves to run through flowers and steal snacks from her brother and then they'd giggle about it.. I bet she'd love her new baby brother and she'd take lots of naps and snuggles with him. She'd draw sweet art that only a 3 year old knows how to make and we'd hang her drawings all over the walls. We'd go on nature adventures and pick wild flowers for pressing between the pages of old books.. We'd giggle together as we play hide and seek around the house, we'd have picnics and tea parties and tree climbing. At the end of the day she'd be so tired that she'd fall asleep on the couch and her daddy would have to carry her to bed. Ah I love to dream of my sweet little girl.

Day 3 In Honor

IN HONOR

Oh sweet baby girl, how delicate you are, yet how incredibly strong

You're perfect body, you're prefect soul, you captivate me

Those hands, those arms, those checks
you take my breath away

The sweetness of you. Your calmness.
Your peaceful spirit, it's awakened something in me

Your perfect love, it's an inspiration in this life, your peaceful life

Your grace is powerful, you are my spiritual guide.
I love you. I honor you.

I'm beyond amazed that you chose me to be your mother



CarlyMarie Project Heal Capture Your Grief 2015

Day 2 Intention

INTENTION

Seeing Beauty.
Beauty in life. Beauty in myself. Beauty in others.

Being able to step back and be present.

Being open to give and except more freely.

Letting my intuition guide me.
Being strong about my feelings.

Being truthful. Being honest.

Keeping love and nature as a
foundation to life.

Practicing to be still.
Being free to laugh more.
Living calmly.



CarlyMarie Project Heal Capture Your Grief 2015

Day 1 Sunrise

SUNRISE

"Just for a moment let's be still"

It's needed, so needed and sometimes I forget to take a moment to take a break from my life. Today I gave myself twenty minutes to sit in silence and breath in the fresh air. It feels real, in this moment I feel alive.

I sit here, I feel still.






CarlyMarie Project Heal - Capture your grief 2015

Lucy's 2nd Birthday

"Two years ago I held the sweetest baby girl in my arms. She cooed and smiled, my love for her runs through my heart deeper and brighter. As I sit and remember her, as I sit and love her deeply and as I miss her, as I long for her so, I smile, I cry, my heart burns with love for her, my lips miss kissing her and my arms ache without her in them. She gives me light and sings within me. She's inspired me with passion and makes me realize what is truly important. Love. Without love we have nothing."


Folly Boat in Charleston, SC we painted in our sweet Lucy's honor: 

Happy 2nd Birthday Lucy -- Boat Painting April 2nd 2015

Lucy's 1st Birthday Boat Painting Video - April 2nd 2014

The glow that she left in me is forever ignited - painted by the beautiful Amanda Greavette

I am deeply honored and delighted to share with you this gorgeous piece of art completed by one of the most amazing artists that I know. The talented and most beautiful Amanda Greavette fell in love with Lucy and our story and was moved to paint this amazing photo of the me pregnant with my dear Lucy. 

'The glow that she left in me is forever ignited'